i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
