i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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