"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
