is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
