so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
