North Korea, Best Korea!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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