if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
