That's intense
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
