he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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