thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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