The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize