You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
