Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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