I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
