Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize