I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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