I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
