You're my little dorito
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
