OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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