i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
