hotel room ftw
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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