Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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