problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
