no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so that wasnt chicken after all
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
