I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
