Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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