come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
