I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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