Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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