I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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