Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm passing your future prison.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
