Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need to sanitize my soul.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
