I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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