he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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