what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
