i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drake has all the answers
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
