Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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