I cockslap morals
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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