Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
