she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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