Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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