So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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