My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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