you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize