scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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