Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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