My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
