"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
