laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
