what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
