you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
