You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
