p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
