but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
