Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Be still, my beating vagina.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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