dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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