On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize