We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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