just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
