We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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