Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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