Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Porn is love you can see.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
