Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
