Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think your dad took our porno
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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