i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
