Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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