Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize