i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
