Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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