ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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