YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
