I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just found puke in my bra..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
