But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want to make a zoo with you.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
