Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
