dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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