Tell her she can't have a vagina
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
