This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
