is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize