Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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