Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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