The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
