Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My vagina just recognized that song.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
