Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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