when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
